Will I ever get it together?

Ky-An is now one and I still don't know how to take him to run errands with me. You'd think I would figure out a way by now or at least know how to juggle it. I haven't been able to take him to the grocery store with me, to the mall, or just to run out and get a gift or something. In the past year plus, I've been making a grocery list and Hieu would run to the store during lunch or when Ky-An is asleep. We can't even go out to eat because Ky-An sleeps at 7:30 - 8 and we feel guilty everytime we go out and keep him up. Hieu has been picking up food togo or I cook every once in a blue moon.

I get to be home with him every other Friday but we just stay at home because I don't see how I can take him anywhere with his schedule. We may be able to take a walk around the neighborhood or across the street to the playground and that's it. Okay Ky-An goes to bed at 7:30p.m. - 8:00p.m. as mentioned above. He then wakes up at 5:30a.m. - 6:30a.m. He gets his morning bottle, eat cereal by 8 and gets is down for his morning nap at 8:30 - 9a.m. He sleeps for about an hour or so and then I let him play for about 30 minutes. After that it's lunchtime and then he gets sleepy again at about 11:30 - 12p.m. He sleeps until about 3p.m. and then it's dinner time. So I get only about 2 hours or so in between naps but I have to fit in feeding during that time. If I take him outthen either I have to feed him at the store or he'll miss his nap. How do you do any shopping if you have to feed your baby on the cart? Not to mention the funny look I get from people. If I make him miss his nap then he'll be fussy the whole time and the bags under his eyes is enough to make me feel like a bad mom and rush home.

His longest awake time is in the afternoon from 3-7 and that will be my window of opportunity if I want to go anywhere. However, he'll eat dinner until 4 and by the time we start to leave, it's traffic time in Houston. It's going to take me at least an hour to go anywhere and back. In addition, my "little boy" is half my size. He weighs 28 pounds so I can't easily carry him in one arm, I need both of them to support him. I'd somehow have to balance a diaper bag, him, my car keys, and a stroller or cart cover while waking to the store. By the time I get there I am huffing and puffing and it's just more trouble than it's worth. Currently I run my errands during lunch or on my telecommute day every Thursdays. I have a pile of clothes from his birthday that I need to return and I really need to go grocery shopping if I want to start cooking again. I can only send Hieu to go get certain stuff but not to pick vegetables or buy meat because he doesn't know what looks good. I am starting to wonder if I am never going to get it together and this will just be my life from now on.

In other news, Ky-An has regressed from his walking. He won't take many steps anymore unless he's touching something of mine or Hieu's. I wonder if walking was such a big step for him that he hot scared. If we make him stand by himself, he'll lean back on us. If we make him walk he'll turn around and hug us or lean over to grab our shirts. If I stick a finger out, he'll grab on it and walk just fine. I guess it offers moral support to him. Maybe he just needs to build his confidence to walk on his own again. He's also sticking up his butt and try to crawl recently. Hieu claims he's going to do everything this month..hahaha. I hope he starts walking around soon, it may make things a little easier...or harder. I am not sure yet.