I've been thinking about whether we should start selling/giving away some of Ky-An's old things because with Ai-Vy coming, we are just going to accumulate more and more things. However before we can do that, we have to answer the question of we are done with kids or not. Hieu is not much help because he said I do most of the work so it's up to me. He would've been okay with just Ky-An and now with Ai-Vy. Financially and practially, I think two kids is all we can handle. In addtion, it also make sense medically because this will be my third c-section already and I am really frighten about a fourth one.
Emotionally it's a different story...when I made a decision to say "okay, we are complete", there's always a little voice that whines "are we really? No more little babies to hold? To care for? Who totally depends on you? No more baby smell and their little cries?" I am only 30 right now so I'll give myself until I am 34 to make any permanent decisions. (That means Hieu will go snip snip. :P) I figure we can also start on our adoption process if we do decide we want more kids right? We've always want to adopt at least one anyway so this will be a great time. As I said, my heart is not listening to my brain right now.
My friends said to hold off with Ky-An's stuff but if I give it more thoughts, I just know we can't afford more than 2 kids and be able to provide for them the way we want to. With Ai-Vy coming, money is already going to be a little tight and we can't even get a van until next year. I also want to be able to start taking vacations with the kids and take them places. I don't want Ky-An to keep having to miss out because his mom is pregnant (again) or that his siblings are too young. I've always want to spend as much time and give my kids as much attention as possible. I feel I can't do that as well if I have more kids. I know there are moms out there who are great with three or more kids but I don't think I can be one of them. Having three right now would also mean I'd have to stay home to save on daycare and we can't really afford that right now with our mortgage and expenses.
As I said, my reasoning is all there for we are done with kids but my heart keep protesting with "no no". I have 4 years to decide so we'll wait and see I guess.
3 comments:
Don't give them away until you know forsure!! I totally regret what I have done and got rid of the baby needs and now we want to have one more. I guess I could blame DH for that because he said that we were done at two, but now, he's changed his mind and would like to go for the 3rd! Oh boy!!
I say definitely hold off for now...you just never know how you're going to feel in 3 or 4 years, you know. I think we're going to be in the exact same situation as you. if it were up to stephen we'd be done with two...but he's not getting snipped until a few years down the road. I'd hate to do anything permanent and regret it.
We are of the same mind of only wanting two kids...for now. hehe We are the same age (well, I'm a little older. I'll be 31 this summer), since I like the spacing between William and Xander, I don't know. I mean, if we wait that long, I will be 35, and Dave will be 39. That's getting into the high risk territory, too. Well, give it some thought. I will, too. Like you said, there is always adoption, when we are older. Dave and I have talked about that. If we ever adopted, though, I think I would adopt an older child, since they tend to get overlooked in favor of babies.
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