My birthday, my life - Coming to America

Four years after my dad left, we finally got the passports to go to America!  This was after a grueling interview process, the countless bribes to the officials to let our paperwork go smoothly, and the number of shots we had to get.  It felt like we had to get several shots every week for months.  We all would cry the first few times we receive the shots but after that, it's like no big deal anymore. 

Since we already receive our passports and we are just awaiting our entry visas and the date of our departure, the preparation starts for our trip.  The premise back then is that once you leave, you can never come back.  That means you will never see your relatives, friends, nor the land you've grown up and the culture you are accustomed to anymore.  My mom has to mentally prepare herself and start saying her goodbyes.  Since school is a priveledge and not a requirement in Viet Nam, my mom decides to take us out of school as to not have to deal with any complications when it's our time.  She puts us in class with an English tutor and a math tutor while we wait  Our English tutor taught us English with a French accent, how funny is that?  I thought we were so cool when I went to the US and the teacher asked me what month it is.  I goes it's "Jay-Nuah-Ree" and was very proud of myself.  It's not until later that I realize all the pronunciations we learned are incorrect.

I was tutored math up to sixth grade level when I was 7.  I am a fast learner and caught up to my older sister very quickly and we became classmates.  I feel really bad about that because she still has a complex up until today.  She's a smart person, I just think the Asian teaching style is not for her.  If she had given an opportunity for alternative learning, I have no doubt she will thrive. 

How do you pack your whole life in a little briefcase?  How do you make time to say goodbye to all your friends and families?  How do you leave the country that grew up in behind?  These are the answers my parents had to deal with.  I remember the day we left vividly.  We were at the airport waiting for our flight.  My maternal grandma was there with my uncle-in-law, whom watched my little sister grew up.  We live right next door to my grandma and she helped my mom raised us.  We rode to the airport with heavy hearts, trying to say goodbye be everything we were familiar with and our grandma holding us tight. 

While my mom went to do some paperwork, my grandma took each of us aside to say goodbye to us.  When it's my turn she asked what am I going to do in America?  I was about 7 so I told her I am going to eat all the candies.  My grandma hug me and her voice starts to shake.  She said "well when you are done eating candy, you come back and visit me okay?"  I didn't understand why she starts to wipe her eyes and I just look at her and said "okay". 

(You know what my biggest regret is?  That I never come back to visit her after I am sick of all the candies.  A few years after US had a trade relations with Viet Nam, I was suppose to come back with my parents as my highschool graduation gift. Unfortunately I misplaced my citizenship certificate and couldn't get it replace in time for my passport.  A year after my parents and sisters when back, my grandma passed away.)

We entered the airport and they don't let anyone else in except for immediate relatives.  There were so many people standing behind the rope, some were friends, some were distant relatives, and some just want to come watch the lucky ones who get to go to America.  I remember my mom completed the paperwork and just sit on the bench facing away from everyone and was silent.  I didn't understand why she didn't want to look at everyone and say bye to them.  I asked her and she said she doesn't want to say bye to anyone because she will breakdown.

They call our name to go back to the waiting room and that's when the all the emotions starts erupting at once.  The best way I can describe is when people starts bawling when the casket is lowered.  It's basically the same thing because at that time, we really believe we are never to see each other again.  All my sisters and I started crying and hugging each person that was there to say bye to us behind the ropes.  People try to hold on to us and pull our hands not letting us go.  We had to tear ourselves away from all our childhood friends, families that we knew, and our beloved grandma who is so weak from grief that my uncle-in-law had to hold her up.  My mom was overcome with emotion and could barely walk into the waiting room.  The officials impatiently usher us into a glass room waiting for our plane, leaving everything we knew behind...