Ai-Vy's 9 Month check-up

Ai-Vy had her 9 months check-up and everything is good with her. Here are her stats:

• Weight: 22 pounds 8 ounces at 95%


• Height: 28 inches at 75% (she's gonna be shorter than Ky-An)


• Head: 18 inches at 90%

I decide to prove to Hieu, but more to myself, that I can take care of two kids so I took both kids with me to the doctor's appointment. I packed their bags the night before and I thought I was prepared for the trip but soon found out I wasn't. First the appointment was at 9 so I didn't have much time to feed Ky-An his breakfast. I packed some dry cereal and figure that was good enough. I packed a bottle for Ai-Vy and water for both but no milk for Ky-An because I didn't think we were going to be there that long. You can see there was already 2 mistakes there.

I got them to the doctor's office with no problem. I tried to give Ky-An the cereal in the waiting room but he didn't want any of it. He started to get whiney and they put on "A Bug's Life" which he loved. He got mad when we had to go into the room with Ai-Vy and keep asking to see "grasshopper". Mistake number 3 is that you shouldn't take a toddler to a doctor's office unless he has to. He was so bored and didn't want to be cooped up in the room while we waited for the doctor. I had to keep him entertained and couldn't give all my attention to little Ai-Vy. She had to get 2 shots this visit because she was behind from her 6 months. On top of that, they wanted to collect her urine sample for testing so she had a bag taped to her privates. Then they had to get a blood sample so the poke her little finger and squeeze out blood to the little test tube. She was screaming her little head off and Ky-An was acting up plus . Ai-Vy also missed her morning nap so she was not a happy camper on top of things. I was not giving neither enough attention and I felt so bad.

After being their for over an hour and Ky-An has had it with the doctor's office. Ai-vy still hasn't urinate to her sample bag and she wanted out of there also. The nurse told me that they can collect her urine sample at another time if I'd like so I agreed to do that. The bag is taped on to Ai-Vy and she proceed to YANK the bag from her. I can see Ai-Vy's skin being pulled and she was screaming. If that nurse has yank it anymore, I think some skin would've come off. I was distracted with Ky-An but turned around just in time to see that and yell for the nurse to stop. She then put some cream on and took off the bag with ease. I asked her if there was any skin taken off and she was like "oh no, it's just tape." SHEESH, how did she get to be a nurse at a pediatrician's office??!!! If Ai-Vy's skin was irritated or taken off, I would've complain big time!! I was so mad at her but wanted to out of there ASAP so I just let it drop.

I got them in the car and it's about 10:30 a.m., almost lunch time for Ky-An and he didn't have a good breakfast. He whines for milk in the car but I didn't pack any because I didn't think we were going to be at the doctor's for 2 hours!!! I felt so bad as I dropped him off at the babysitter's hungry and wanting some milk. Poor Ai-Vy conked out in the car and stayed asleep as I dropped her off. I felt bad that I couldn't stay home with her and shower her with attention as I did with Ky-An after each of his shots.

Overall the trip with both kids is not successful. I expect it to get easier as I get more used to it and as they get older. Today, I still feel guilty on my lack of attention to each of them. Everytime I have an off Friday I have to fight through the guilt of what to do with my day and who the spend it with. I keep thinking about how I need to run errands but I should spend more time with Ky-An since he doesn't get much attention whenever Ai-Vy is home. However, if I come to pick Ky-An up early from the babysitter, the guilt of leaving Ai-Vy there is just unbearable. She's at a clingy stage and I know she would love to be with mommy also. If I stay home with Ai-Vy and drop Ky-An off that wouldn't be fair either. I just think of him walking around the babysitter's house asking for me and his little sister and it kills me.

I also thought of keeping them both at home but then I worry who would watch Ky-An when I put Ai-Vy to sleep. I worry that he'll get in trouble or go looking for me when I am in the room with Ai-Vy. In addition, he'll be bored at home with me because I can't take him to do anything fun as Ai-Vy naps. Argghh..tooo much things to worry about and I never stop feeling guilty whatever I do. I feel like such a failure as a mom when I thought about how other stay-at-home mos do this everday.

Hieu always encourage me to get some rest and run my personal errands on my day off so I can be with the kids in the weekend. It is nice to have a day to myself twice a month to run errands such as grocery shopping, doctor's visit, haircut, etc. I always try to get them done so I can pick the kids up early but the day just went by so quickly! I run 2 or 3 errands and it's almost 4 p.m. I hope things will get better but I am not sure if this guilt will ever go away!