Things has been overwhelming, especially the first day home. On our first day home from the hospital, Ky-An has been at the babysitter's house for 4 days and was so excited to be home with mom and day. Poor guy. That also mean he doesn't want to nap nor sleep that day either. I didn't get to lay down all day and that was something I didn't expect. I was exhausted by the time we go to sleep and seriously doubt if I can do this again the next day.
That night was nerve-wrecking to us also because it's the first time Ky-An and Ai-Vy will be sleeping together so we are not sure what's going to happen. I tend to Ai-Vy by myself because I am trying to breastfeed and Hieu tends to Ky-An in case he cries. We have the changing pad in the bathroom so I can change her in their during the night. I also fed her in the bathroom or in our walk-in closet in case she cries and wake up Ky-An. I thought about it sometimes and feel so bad for her, that she has to be fed in the closet or bathroom but what can we do when her brother is so difficult. Luckily our bathroom and toilet are separate, otherwise that would be gross. She's a doll though, would sleep through all of Ky-An's wails with no problem. The night went pretty well, Ky-An only woke up once with Ai-Vy's wails because she was fighting me to take my breast that night. I had to douse my breast with formula to bribe her to take her. The next night is better and Ky-An only woke up once but went back to sleep.
Hieu has been taking over the night time routine since my third trimester and Ky-An has been clingy to him. It's understandable because I can't hold him anymore since then. It break my heart the last few days when he comes up to me (in the rare chances) and ask me to hold him but I couldn't. Hieu would then hold him up and I'll hug his top half...very sad. It's also a good thing that he's clingy to Hieu because I am so busy with Ai-Vy and that's the way it should be. However, it still affect me emotionally and it make me sad. It could be the leftover hormones but Ky-An used to depend on me for everything now won't even give me a second look. I am not exaggerating, I lean down and ask him for a hug and he just walk away somewhere else. He rarely call mom anymore and only want dad for everything. I hope this is not permanent and I am looking forward to spending some alone time with hime after I healed. I miss my little boy.
Ky-An is having a little trouble adjusting to his new little sister. Overall he's pretty good and loves her. He always want to come over to touch her or kiss her and grins really big whenever he sees her. He would point to her co-sleeper and say "baby" or "sister" and wants to see her. Even though he's really good, there are moments when he's jealous of her. One morning he pointed to my side of the bed and go "me me" when he doesn't see me. (I was feeding Ai-Vy.) He also gets really mad when Hieu is tending to him and then have to tend to Ai-Vy. He's been a nightmare during bed time too. I think it's just too much adjusting he has to get used to and on top of that, his top molars are growing in. I feel bad for him, it's a lot of adjusting for someone so young.
Ai-Vy has been really good. The only struggle I have with her is breastfeeding. With Ky-An, even though he refused to be breastfed, I was really good about pumping and managed to feed him breastmilk only for 8 months. For the first 2 weeks, I pumped every 2 hours around the clock to build up my supply. Now I am just too tired and barely pump at all. I breastfeed Ai-Vy at every feeding but I don't have enough milk for her so sometimes I have to supplement with formula. I just can't do the every 2 hour thing that I did with Ky-An. Maybe I don't have the same determination nor the same drive and I feel bad that I don't. I feel like I short-changed Ai-Vy on a lot of stuff and this is just one more thing. I do want to give her breastmilk but I just don't have the energy nor the drive to add pumping to it.
She didn't have the required dirty and wet diapers today so I am a bit worry. I'll have to call the pediatrician and ask them tomorrow. For the 6th day, she's suppose to have 6 wet diapers and 4 dirty ones. I think she's short one dirty diaper.
7 comments:
Please be patience with Ky-An, he needs time to adjust himself, maybe weeks or months.
Hin Lerk was jealous too when his cousin came along. He acts as if he doesn't love his grandma anymore and only loves his grandfather. He hardly kissed his grandma because grandma always attend to the baby. But he still turned to his grandma when he is scared. My mom was sad too but life has to go on. Spend some quality time with him whenever you can.
Awww, don't worry the first month or two is always hard. Pretty soon Ky-An won't even remember when he didn't have a sister.
As far as the BF goes, just remember if you let her sick longer, even though tere isn't any milk you will produce more milk in 24 hours, the more you put her to the breast, the more milk you will produce the next day. Also make sure to drink a lot of liquids.
Good luck, and ((HUGS))
((HUGS))!!! Remember you have a lot more on your plate than you did when Ky-An was a baby. It will get easier and in a couple of weeks you'll look back and try to remember life with just one!
It will get better! It's just the beginning...
I had a hard time feeding Joshua!
I was there not too long ago. By week 7, we had a routine and I was going out in public with both the kids on my own. If someone would have told me that I'd be doing that during week 3, I would have laughed. But everything just fell into place and it will for you too. Just a little something to look forward to. PS Ky An still loves you. They go back and forth between mommy and daddy. I know it hurts 'cause in my house, it's all about daddy. Try not to let it overcome you into giving in to things you normally wouldn't give in to, because you feel bad for Ky An. It will only cause more grief in the end. Take a deep breathe and say this to yourself: It WILL get better. It WILL get better. {{{hugs}}}
Hey! Congrats to you and your family. I also had my baby, on Sept 17, a day before you. Probably hours before you since my son was born at night and Ai-Vy was born in the morning. I really give you props for having time to update so soon... I'm still settling at home with my newborn. His name is Tyson. Will be updating when I get a chance.
Ky-An just needs some time to adjust. He has had a big change in his life and that will take him some time to adjust to. But I know that he will adjust and be a great big brother.
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