Ai-Vy’s first time-out

I had to put AV in a timeout this evening b/c she didn't listen to me.  It was traumatic for her because it’s her first real one.  She was wailing, throwing a tantrum, and crying hysterically. My poor son came up to me, tapped me on my shoulder, and whispered to me at the verge of tears: “mommy you have to take care of her okay.”  He could barely get the words out because he was almost crying.  It was the sweetest and saddest thing I’ve seen. 

Poor Ai-Vy was still upset past her bedtime and still whimpers as she drift off to sleep.

Ky-an’s Tantrum

Ky-An has been pretty defiant lately and it takes forever to get him to do anything.  Everyday whenever ever he gets home and we sit him down at the dinner table to eat, he’ll start crying and refuse to eat anything.  Seeing how he’s getting skinnier every day, I would coax…bargain..and bribe for him to take some bites.  Bath time is also a struggle with him.  He would not go to take a bath when it’s time and I have either find a toy that he can bring with him to take a bath or threaten time-out.  It got to the point where we had to threaten him time-out before he would do anything.

He also got into this bad habit of saying he’s hungry right when we put him to bed and demand food.  The first two nights I gave in because I didn’t want him to be hungry and I was just happy he was asking for food.  The first night he ate a lot and then went to sleep on a full stomach.  The next night I told him if I take him out and he won’t eat then I’ll put him in the corner for not going to bed.  He ate a decent amount.  By the third night, I had enough caught on and refuse to take him out to get some food..that’s when the tantrum starts.  I offered him milk instead but he wanted it in a sippy (baby) cup.  We’ve been regressing and give him the sippy since school start because we felt bad for him and let him have his comfort item while he’s going through this transition.

I decide to put an end to everything tonight and said no.  I told him his milk is in the big boy cup with a straw and he starts screaming….”I WANT BABY MILK!! I WANT BABY MILK!!”  I let him cry and went out of the room.  We have a camera in the room so Hieu and I kept an eye on him and just let him have his tantrum.  As long as he doesn’t wake Ai-Vy then he can scream all he wants.  I have never let my kids do the cry it out method when they were younger but somehow it’s more tolerable when they are older.  I think it’s because I know he’s just throwing a tantrum and not that he’s in need of something. 

After some screaming with no result he changed his chants to “I DON’T WANT MILK!!! I DON’T WANT MILK!!”  I came in and took the milk from him and said..that’s fine, no milk and walk out the room.  He whimpered some more and laid down to go to sleep, exhausted from all those crying.  It was really hard to see him cry and I almost go into the room a couple of times but I am glad we stuck with it.  After a night of crying, we made sure we talk to him about it and explain to him about what happened.  I don’t know if the crying helped or he just learned we mean business because he is back to his angelic self after that.  After he came home from school the next day, he ate dinner like he’s suppose to.  He went to take a bath with not much whining and doesn’t want “baby” milk anymore..he wants a big boy cup because he’s a big boy now. LOL.

There are still some evenings when he still whines when I ask him to do a task.  I just get down to his level and tell him “mommy is not asking, I am telling you it’s time to take a bath.”  That put an end to negotiations quickly.  I decide that any life task such as eating, bath, sleeping, peeing, etc are not up for negotiation.  Everything else I can give him a choice on.  Thanks Supper Nanny!!!

Ky-An's first time-out

We have not put Ky-An in a time-out up to this point. For the most part, we didn't have to because after we tell him no or not to do anything, he listens and don't do it. Lately I've notice he's getting more defiant and know that I need to be more assertive in his discipline very soon. I've also notice that my sister and my friends discipline their kids more than what I have done with Ky-An and I worry that I've been spoiling him. I certainly do not want him to grow up to be a spoil brat so I've been keeping an eye out on his behavior and whether or not it's an opportunity for us to implement time-out.

This weekend there was an opportunity for it because he was cranky before naptime and spilled water on the floor. Hieu went to yell at him and tell him that it's not acceptable and he hit Hieu! Hieu immediately took him to the corner and tell him to face in for a time-out. I've been watching Supper Nanny (love that show!) and tell Hieu what to do. Hieu got down to his level and explain why he's putting Ky-An in time-out. We let him stay their for 2 minutes (one minute for each year of their age) and not talk or look at him for the duration. I was expecting a screaming match or us having a hard time making him stay put but he just stood there without a peep. Didn't even protest! I was pleasantly surprise and he has a look on his face knowing he did something wrong. After 2 minutes, Hieu got down to his level again and explain why Ky-An was put in time-out. Hieu made him say "sorry" and give him a hug.

So far time-out is working well with Ky-An and I hope it continues. I hope we continue to use it effectively. The other day I gave him a timeout because I was trying to get him to go into the bedroom for his nap (pre-nap meltdown again), he didn't want to go and hit me. I put him in the corner and it helped because he was much calmer and more compliant after that. It was so cute when he was standing in the corner because he keep turning around to look at us. I just make a motion w/ my finger to turn around and he immediately listen. Hieu was trying so hard not to laugh because he's so darn cute.