In Loving Memory of Doan Kim Xuan

My oldest sister's mother-in-law passed away this past week. She has been battling pneumonia in ICU for the past month and her body just gave up. She had so many complications from the pneumonia that I was worry for her. First it was high blood pressure, then liquid in her lungs that they had to drain out, then bleeding out that no one knew why, then blood infection that she need dialysis for. After that her body just give up and the organs start failing. The doctor told the family that her organs are failing and her lungs keep getting a leak over the weekend and they'll do the best they can but they are not optimistic.

My second oldest sister, Tran, called me Sunday night with the news and said my parents and her will be coming up on Monday to visit her. She asked if we would like to come. I told her I can't pick up and leave with two young kids. I called my oldest sister to confer with her and to see how she's doing. She advise me to just come up for the funeral so I won't have to make 2 trips so close together. I asked about the kids and she said they are not allowed to see grandma because she's still in ICU and grandma has been asking for them. I said maybe the nurse would let them see her soon. Unfortunately she never get the chance but I am sure she's watching over them right now.

Monday morning my sister Tran called me again to inform me that she had passed away Sunday night. All her kids were there with her so she's very blessed in that part. I think the worst thing in life is dying alone or not able to see your loved ones. I called my little sister and the whole family made plans to go up to Dallas for her funeral.

Even though it sounds like our relation is so far away, we are actually pretty close to her. We see her often whenever we visit my sister or sometimes when she comes to Houston with my sister. She's a very sweet and thoughtful woman. She always send presents to my parents and the kids on every holiday, before we even get a chance to do so. She came down for Lan-Vy's funeral and to express her condolences to Hieu and I. On Ai-Vy's one month, I didn't invite her because I knew she couldn't come and didn't want her to send a present. However she knew my sister was coming down for the event and sent a monetary gift with her anyway. That's the kind of woman she is. She's sociable, kind, and generous.

She loves my sister like her own daughter and so cheerish her grandkids. They are the apple of her eyes. When my sister was pregnant, she sew comfortable clothes for my sister to wear at home. I know how comfortable they are because my sister passed them down to me! She also sew my sister a maternity Vietnamese dress to wear to temple. She cook congee when my sister was in the hospital and took care of her the month after when my sister got home after each birth. Whenever she goes out shopping, she never forget to buy my sister or niece something also.

Our whole family loves her hot cayenne pepper and she plant lots of them in her garden. Every year when it's "harvest" time, she'll send down a large bag of it for the whole family. I still have a small bag in my freezer that I have everyday. Whenever I eat them, I always think of her. She knew how much I love the pepper and gave me a large tree so I can have them anytime. Of course I can't keep up with the watering so it died. She found out and gave me 2 more smaller ones but I couldn't take care of them like she does.

She had a hard life and devote her whole life to her kids. I can only hope to be as a devote mother as she is. She was so loved that the whole funeral room was filled to the brim with flowers from all her friends and family. The room was so packed at the funeral that people had to stand outside. You can only hope that you make some impact on someones life before you leave and she clearly touch a lot of people and will be missed by many.



You can tell from all the flowers how well-loved she was:


My sister and her brother and sister-in-law in mourning:




My nieces and nephew paying their respect:


The room was packed with people wanting to say goodbye to her:


My sister deliver such a touching eulogy that had everyone in tears:


Procession to the cremation house: